Before There Was a Q
Look like “a boy,” they call you “a boy.” Everyone believed my mother got her answer to her prayer, and for a while it seemed to be so.
like a girl.
like a girl
sissy like a girl
gender-eccentricgenderfluid gender nonbinarynonbinary gender-eccentric
all animals are girls
A spiritual director, nonbinary person, and quasi-hermit, John Backman (she/her/hers) writes about ancient spirituality and the unexpected ways it collides with postmodern life. This includes a book (Why Can’t We Talk? Christian Wisdom on Dialogue as a Habit of the Heart) and personal essays in Tiferet Journal, Amethyst Review, Evolve, Sufi Journal, The Sunlight Press, and Belmont Story Review, among other places.
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What was I getting out shame, anyway? So I walked away from it all: going to church, reading scripture, prayer, even the Christian music I loved so much.
The years I suppressed my queerness are a loss that I'm exploring and grieving—if only through fiction.